This is quite likely the most unfair photoshop job to take place outside of the Kardashian kompound (ask Jordan Clarkson or Tristan Thompson, they Know). The Denver Nuggets tour of this season's remarkable draft class and it's corresponding tank-squads, commences in earnest nonetheless.

The outcome if this contest, thankfully does not rest upon who wins this particular match-up.

Keepin' the seat warm for Barton, who seems to be in a best case time-frame in terms of returning from an injury that required surgery. He should be back in the lineup by around December 15th.

Nuggets vs Cleveland: Denver must snap out of their eerily cavalier malaise.

In a vacuum it seems hyper-critical to be insinuating that a 6-1 squad is struggling but given their newfound expectations and the strength of schedule to date, it's actually hard not to nit-pick at the manner in which the Nuggets are going about business lately. Here's hopin' they at least managed to sleep, despite their mass-attempted-bed-shittery in Chi-town last evening. Kinda makes you wonder if part of Denver's perceived home-court advantage could perhaps center on having opponents bed down at the brown palace?

When last these two teams squared off, Denver enjoyed double figure TPM contributions from three players, led by Mason Plumlee +12, Jamal Murray +16 & Nikola Jokic +25. Unfortunately, two players were also in the red in that encounter led by Lyles -3 but clearly this wasn't very impactful, as the negative TPM scores totaled only a combined -4 in what was an abysmal, game 65 home-defeat last season, at the hands of the Cavs.

Fortunately for the Nuggets, we can expect that King James will not post a line of 39-8-10 and go 5-8 from downtown in this one. Wilson Chandler is also unlikely to go 1-8 from the floor while defending him. We can however, hope for Jokic to snap out of his funk and provide a performance half as good as that night in Denver, when he went toe to toe with Lebron, en route to a 36-13-6 line on 12-14 shooting from the floor, 2-3 from distance and 10-11 from the charity stripe.

As for this game, Cleveland much like last nights opponent Chicago, is an actively tanking team (Please see yesterdays piece for illumination of my distaste for the reward-losing business model of the NBA, as it bears repeating but not preaching) in full-on rebuild mode after Lebron James left for greener pastures in the off-season. With Love out, and J.R. elsewhere, Sexton has increasingly been handed more and more playing time and responsibility. He is a score-first PG who can certainly fill it up but at this stage in his burgeoning career, there is little more to his game than fantasy basketball keeper-league promise as Denver Stiff's head-writer/editor/octo-pod conductor Adam Mares illustrated in his chat with Fear the Sword's Justin Rowan.

With that being said, one on one scorers, while clearly less valuable than they were in the 80's-early oughts, in a one game scenario can obviously be deadly so Murray and Morris will have their work cut out for them in staying in front of his adept driving capabilities. I expect them to go under screens and force him to produce from distance, something he has yet to prove capable of & something Denver's guards can't get into the habit of doing but in circumstances such as these, it's warranted.

Beyond the talented rookie (have I mentioned how amazingly underrated this draft class is? Was that just yesterday? Oh, ok), Denver must only contend with the all around/expanding capabilities of Cedi Osman and what can now be fairly classified as a cast of journeymen in Clarkson, Hood, Hill, Nance and the veteran glue guy J.R. Smith.

Prediction: Denver 117 - Cleveland 97 (making both fan-bases content which is again, preposterous.) A quick glance at Fear the Sword reveals a similar prediction by Chris Manning, Denver 120 - Cleveland 105, while Denver Stiffs own Daniel Lewis predicts another slopper, Nuggets 106 - Cavaliers 103.

Go Nuggets!

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If you are viewing the pre-game version of the TPM piece; and you enjoy Gonzo-basketball reporting, I invite you to please join me after the game where the same link will lead you to the post game version. In it, all of the disjointed/unsightly blanks below will be filled, complete with data/analysis and more snark than "Snarknado VI: Snakenado", which I'm told is about a pessimistic, albino, black mamba who emerges from micro-bursts to torment the people of Los Angeles with shady tweets.

There be monsters; shameless, personal plug alert! (by permission of Denver Stiffs): If you are in the market for clothing, featuring the four major Denver sports franchises as well as CU, please open this link in a new tab to see if there is anything you are interested in. You don't have to order from the link of course if you are in the Denver Metro area, as I'm more than happy to meet up with you (please refrain from bringing rotten tomatoes), drastically lowering the cost, as Poshmark takes a healthy cut as well as shipping & handling. Thanks in advance!

Unique, hard to find, one of a kind and custom gear of your favorite team

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And now what none of you come here for; how about some basketball nerdery?!?!

(After these messages... Er Nicknames)

Cleveland Cavaliers Roster

Denver Nuggets Roster

Update: MPJ and I.T. are sleeping on Ice, awaiting intel as to when their services will be required. Rookie Jared Vanderbilt will have to wait to make his rookie debut until long after R.O.Y. candidate Thomas Welsh, as he recovers from an actual injury. Finally, Barton had successful surgery on his abductor and hip. He will be evaluated for return in mid-December. As for Cleveland, the aforementioned Love is out with a flat tire, while J.R. Smith in purgatory, per Fear the Sword's Chris Manning.

Data: Open this link in a new tab for the definition of TPM™

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TPM™ Game 8 CLE

Jamal Murray: +8

Isaiah Thomas: N/A

Monte Morris: +11

Gary Harris: +15

Malik Beasley: +6

Torrey Craig: +7

DeVaughn Akoon-Purcell: -5

Will Barton: N/A

Juancho Hernangomez: +24

Michael Porter Jr.: N/A

Jared Vanderbilt: N/A

Paul Millsap: +17

Trey Lyles: +6

Tyler Lydon: -1

Nikola Jokic: -4

Mason Plumlee: +9

Thomas Welsh: N/A

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Total TPM™

Jamal Murray: 8 games +104

Isaiah Thomas: 0 games +0

Monte Morris: 8 games +105

Gary Harris: 8 games +134

Malik Beasley: 8 games +14

Torrey Craig: 7 games -4

DeVaughn Akoon-Purcell: 2 games -4

Will Barton: 2 games +33

Juancho Hernangomez: 7 games +22

Michael Porter Jr.: 0 games +0

Jared Vanderbilt: 0 games +0

Paul Millsap: 8 games +74

Trey Lyles: 8 games +60

Tyler Lydon: 3 games +1

Nikola Jokic: 8 games +148

Mason Plumlee: 8 games +57

Thomas Welsh: 3 games -1

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Avg. TPM™ Per Game

Jamal Murray: +13.00

Isaiah Thomas: N/A

Monte Morris: +13.13

Gary Harris: +16.75

Malik Beasley: +1.75

Torrey Craig: -0.57

DeVaughn Akoon-Purcell: -2.00

Will Barton: +16.50

Juancho Hernangomez: +3.14

Michael Porter Jr.: N/A

Jared Vanderbilt: N/A

Paul Millsap: +9.25

Trey Lyles:+7.50

Tyler Lydon: +0.33

Nikola Jokic: +18.50

Mason Plumlee: +7.13

Thomas Welsh: -0.33

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TPM™ Per-Minute Splits Through Game7:

*Credit DomP on the Spreadsheet. It's as if my (nerdy) baby (TPM™) learned to speak

Analysis:

Qtr1- The Nuggets trot out their injury-replacement starting five, consisting of The Blue Arrow, Just Gary Harris, Torrey FUCKING Craig, The Anchorman & Big Honey. The Cavs counter with Hill, Hood, Osman, Dekker & Thompson. Jokic unwisely chooses to win the opening tip and again, they're fucked. Cleveland must have watched film of Denver vs Houston from last season, as their strategy early is to get Big Honey switched onto guards defensively. He is struggling mightily on that end of the court, to the tune of -10 TPM at the time of the first break at 8:09, with Cleveland in complete command, 12-4. The math on that goes like this: Every bucket, save one, has been scored vs Jokic so far. He has to learn that defense isn't JUST about playing the passing lanes. This is no time for a break by the lake.

'Sap is once again the steadying force for Denver as he hits a step-back three, late in the shot clock, followed by a barely dunk. Morris replaces the scoreless Murray at 5:16, down nine. Sexton looks to be a fan of the weight room. Good to see solid work ethic out of a youngster. Plumlee checks in at 4:45 for Jokic. Marlowe has settled on "untracked" as opposed to "on track" this season. Beasley/Lyles enter at 3:45, trailing by seven. The fresh-legged Juancho Hernangomez is in after the timeout. Cleveland leads by nine on the strength of a 12-4 run at 1:20. Denver couldn't throw a pea in the ocean once again. No players for either squad are in any sort of serious, individual foul trouble. The Nuggets are paced in TPM by Millsap +7 as they trail 15-27 after one.

Qtr2- Korver nearly killed several people just now, chasing a ball into the crowd. I think even he's surprised that he was able to clear them with his kicks. The lead is 12 at 10:25 for the Cavs. Denver is finally showing signs of life in their bench unit and they cut it to eight at 10:06. Juancho Hernangomez takes/makes the first three of the night that didn't make me cringe. The lead is down to five as Murray is huffin'/puffin'/hustlin'. Another wide open three by the suddenly full-named Juancho Hernangomez is true and the lead is four at 7:27. Beasley gets into the act with a three of his own and the lead is down to one. Juancho Hernangomez looks every bit the rested player that he is tonight. We're even-Steven at 38 with 4:48 to play. Juancho Hernangomez' irrational name change in the eyes of public perception has prompted me to change his nickname above as well. Juancho Hernangomez hustles up a steal, causing Osman to tackle him, drawing a foul.

Juancho Hernangomez goes 1-2 from the line and the Nuggets have their first lead of the evening. Juancho Hernangomez sticks yet another three and the lead is four on the strength of an 11-0 run. I'm no longer a Juancho, Juancho man, I'm now a Juancho Hernangomez, Juancho Hernangomez man, as necessitated by public free-fall. Juancho Hernangomez becomes just the first Nugget to reach double figures in scoring, with 2:16 to play, up six, on the strength of a 16-2 run. It's amazing how seeing their shots begin to fall has preceded the defensive intensity picking up, not the other way around as I'm sure Coach Malone would prefer. Malone has been far better lately at protecting his players in danger of foul trouble to close halves, in this case Lyles is in for Millsap. The return of the three point threat has gotten the good guys back into contention in this game. No players for either squad are in any sort of serious, individual foul trouble. Denver is paced in TPM by Juancho Hernangomez +14, as they lead 48-40 at the half.

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Qtr3- In an act of unbridled defiance, I henceforth refuse to refer to Juancho as Juancho Hernangomez, at least within the mid-game analysis. I'll play ball outside of these clearly defined goalposts. Juancho may just be the answer at the three going forward, though I'm still eager to see them utilize a three guard attack by inserting Morris occasionally and having Harris defend the three. Jokic and his active hands produce a steal right off the bat in the third quarter. He follows that up with a bad pass/"only Jokic" foul, compounding his mistake. The lead for Denver is 12 at 8:20. Millsap becomes just the second Nugget to reach double digits at 7:45. Two straight buckets by The Anchorman and Denver leads by 14 at 7:33. The ship seems righted at the moment, finally. Ladies and gentlemen, there is a reason that Denver continues to stubbornly feed him in the post and it has nothing at all to do with this very moment or that particular set. It has everything to do with getting him confident where he is comfortable so he can contribute in other areas offensively, WAY down the line in the marathon that is the NBA playoff span. Chew on that for a bit.

The lead remains 14 with 5:44 to go. The starters are starting to look fatigued and perhaps a line change is in order. Murray is just the third Nugget to reach double figures at this point. Millsap is playing like a grown man and carrying the team in a diametrically opposed manner to that which the youngster, Juancho carried them in the 2nd quarter. The Denver lead is 11 as the 2nd unit begins filtering in for Denver. Holy shit! Craig hits a three! The Nuggets lead is 14 at 3:00. Harris makes four in double digits for Denver. Marlowe takes the words out of my fingertips as he declares, "The Nuggets are clicking on all cylinders." No players for either squad are in any sort of serious, individual foul trouble. Denver is paced in TPM by Harris +15 & Juancho/Millsap +17 as they lead 83-66 after three.

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Qtr4- Good news folks, it wasn't a UTI after all. 'Twas merely an internal itch that required external scratching. It's good to have friends in low places. Moving right along, This has been Juancho's best game since January 13th 2017 vs the Warriors. No I didn't just research the date, I remember it because I was partying my birthday face off in Black Hawk that night and missed the game as a result. Worry not, I watched the following day so the TPM data is still sound. I know, you were going to lose slumber over that one. Lyles scores whilst combing his hair, per Marlowe and in doing so becomes the fifth Nugget in double figures. I'm not certain how much of this is sound D and how much of it is due to the opponent but the Nuggets have an outside chance at again going under the century mark as an average, in points allowed after this game. Plumlee utterly pwns Nance on a dunk attempt. This will not make sports-center, for basketball reasons.

Juancho again drills a three and if he's not the starter for Denver going forward then Malone is too stubborn for his own good and requires front-office intervention. He's going to struggle defensively but the only way to learn D when you don't have a natural instinct for it is live, in-game reps. It pleases me that I won't be missing much of the Avs game as this one is wrapping up in a timely fashion it would seem. It certainly is in comparison to last night's, preluded bedshatting. Plumlee now has sky hooks with each hand and as Sir Charles might say, "Kareem Abdul-Jabar is rolling over in his grave right now." Mason makes six Nuggets in double figures, a far more palatable figure. Lydon is in for Plumlee and we are officially into recycling time. DAP's insertion only makes this matter official, as Denver leads by 19 with 2:30 remaining. Denver is paced in TPM by Morris +11, Harris +15, Millsap +17 & Juancho +24 as they win an ugly blowout, if there can be such a thing, 110-91.

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Final Thoughts: Juancho Hernangomez! Big Honey's TPM score regresses for the sixth straight game, tonight in a big way.

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The Nuggets Win!

Denver Nuggets Fear The Sword Nuggets vs Cavaliers coverage