Not a bad core, considering they'll soon add a high lottery pick to them in the NBA's deeply-flawed, reward-losing structure.

My all time favorite non-Nuggets player and the reason I won $280 on only my 2nd try at roulette in Black Hawk. #33 has always been my jersey/lucky number because of Pippen.

Keepin' the seat warm for Barton, who seems to be in a best case time-frame in terms of returning from an injury that required surgery. He should be back in the lineup by around December 15th.

Nuggets vs Chicago: Baby-Bulls vs Neophyte Nationally Nominated Nuggets

When last these two teams squared off, Denver enjoyed double figure TPM contributions from a remarkable eight players, led by Torrey Craig/Mason Plumlee +11, Jamal Murray +12, Will Barton +13, Wilson Chandler +17, Paul Millsap +19, Devin Harris +22 and Nikola Jokic +29. Equally surprising is the fact that no players factored into performing in the red for that encounter. The unfortunately erstwhile Ally took advantage of her natural beauty by wearing a simple button-up, collared, white blouse/studded black skirt combo; wise beyond her years, that one. Additionally, Hastings demonstrated a lack of understanding for the phrase "puttin' on the Ritz", while the always tongue-in-cheek Marlowe, gleefully declared late into recycling time; "Here come the Bulls, they've cut the lead to 30" in what was obviously a massive blowout vs a tanking Bulls team, in game 72 of last season, an absurd 135-102. The only logical conclusion to be drawn is that when Torrey Craig isn't operating in the red-zone and is in fact above double digits in TPM, the Nuggets average 135 points per game.

As for this game, there is no loss of sarcastic-despair in Chi-town as Blog A Bull writer Paul Steeno deadpanned;

If you got the team option on your contract picked up by the Bulls yesterday, then you are also probably injured.

The Bulls will be competing without their rising talent Lauri Markkanen but LaVine is sizzling the pits in a manner in which few knew he was capable in this young season, with a stat line reminiscent of former Bulls/Nuggets great Orlando Woolridge (I've no shame; I'm aware) in his hollow stat-stufery for a marginalized, rebuilding team. Dunn is also out but I've been impressed with his replacements Payne and Arcidiacono in his absence. Additionally, they'll get modest contributions from Holiday, new starter Jabari Parker and promising-if-green young big man Wendell Carter Jr. Christ on a crutch this draft class is amaze-balls!

Any game in Chicago or Milwaukee is like a home game for Big Honey given the enormous Serbian population in the area and he tends to perform very well there as a result. I also expect Monte Morris to continue his excellent start to the '18-'19 season, this time going up against his college coach.

Ultimately, this is a match-up featuring a Nuggets team facing expectations for the first time in roughly a decade, who are expected to produce against an actively-tanking Bulls unit but as Denver Stiffs writer Brendon Vogt pointed out in his pre-game piece;

these Nuggets have a history of playing down to their opponents.

On top of this, what Chicago's brain-trust desires, directly conflicts with those of Coach Hoiberg and the professional livelihoods of all Chicago's players, which is what I hate most about the NBA's tank-culture. Fuck the process!

Adam Silver doesn't seem to want to do anything about the system (per his interview during a Nuggets broadcast last season) but in a sport where one star player has a drastically greater impact on a team's fortune than that of larger rostered leagues, why then does the NBA commissioner wish to continue operating in such a deep dearth of parity?

The answer to me would be to have two lotteries. One that is far less weighted so that the final lottery team has a far greater chance, though still proportional, of acquiring the top pick. In addition to that, the final four playoffs teams (in terms of regular season results as opposed to post-playoff placement) as well as the final four lottery teams should partake in a similarly weighted (perhaps even less so) lottery to see who makes it into the ACTUAL lottery, so as to avoid teams losing purposely as a means to avoid an inevitable first round exit, while having a crack at winning the actual draft lottery. I just came up with this dual-lottery solution and I welcome your thoughts on the matter.

Finally the time has come to reveal what's behind the curtain and broadcast the ping pong balls coming out of the hopper live, as there is absolutely no reason not to (that is, if they want to end collusion theories) and it would make for riveting TV to NBA nerds... er fans. It surprises me that the NBA hasn't realized that they are missing out on a golden opportunity here.

On a completely off topic matter, now for something completely different. I'll promote this one last time and then I'll cease. It's my recording of the song "Thirteen" by Big Star (you're likely more familiar with this version by Elliot Smith.) Please feel free to check out my version at this link if you are so inclined. There are some compression issues due to YouTube's format so I urge you to listen with a good set of headphones but I'm for the most part satisfied with the results.

Prediction: Denver 121 - Chicago 105 (making both fan-bases content which is again, preposterous.)

Go Nuggets!

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If you are viewing the pre-game version of the TPM piece; and you enjoy Gonzo-basketball reporting, I invite you to please join me after the game where the same link will lead you to the post game version. In it, all of the disjointed/unsightly blanks below will be filled, complete with data/analysis and more snark than "Snarknado VI: Snakenado", which I'm told is about a pessimistic, albino, black mamba who emerges from micro-bursts to torment the people of Los Angeles with shady tweets.

There be monsters; shameless, personal plug alert! (by permission of Denver Stiffs): If you are in the market for clothing, featuring the four major Denver sports franchises as well as CU, please open this link in a new tab to see if there is anything you are interested in. You don't have to order from the link of course if you are in the Denver Metro area, as I'm more than happy to meet up with you (please refrain from bringing rotten tomatoes), drastically lowering the cost, as Poshmark takes a healthy cut as well as shipping & handling. Thanks in advance!

Unique, hard to find, one of a kind and custom gear of your favorite team

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And now what none of you come here for; how about some basketball nerdery?!?!

(After these messages... Er Nicknames)

Chicago Bulls Roster

Denver Nuggets Roster

Update:MPJ and I.T. are sleeping on Ice, awaiting intel as to when their services will be required. Rookie Jared Vanderbilt will have to wait to make his rookie debut until long after R.O.Y. candidate Thomas Welsh, as he recovers from an actual injury. Finally, Barton had successful surgery on his abductor and hip. He will be evaluated for return in mid-December. As for Chicago, two of their top three players in terms of likely future value, and the cornerstones along with LaVine of the wiser-by-the-day trade of Jimmy Butler, are both out for the Bulls.

Data: Open this link in a new tab for the definition of TPM™

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TPM™ Game 7 CHI

Jamal Murray: -1

Isaiah Thomas: N/A

Monte Morris: +13

Gary Harris: +9

Malik Beasley: -10

Torrey Craig: +3

DeVaughn Akoon-Purcell: N/A

Will Barton: N/A

Juancho Hernangomez: N/A

Michael Porter Jr.: N/A

Jared Vanderbilt: N/A

Paul Millsap: +16

Trey Lyles: +9

Tyler Lydon: N/A

Nikola Jokic: +18

Mason Plumlee: +15

Thomas Welsh: N/A

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Total TPM™

Jamal Murray: 7 games +96

Isaiah Thomas: 0 games +0

Monte Morris: 7 games +94

Gary Harris: 7 games +119

Malik Beasley: 7 games +8

Torrey Craig: 6 games -11

DeVaughn Akoon-Purcell: 1 games +1

Will Barton: 2 games +33

Juancho Hernangomez: 6 games -2

Michael Porter Jr.: 0 games +0

Jared Vanderbilt: 0 games +0

Paul Millsap: 7 games +57

Trey Lyles: 7 games +54

Tyler Lydon: 2 games +2

Nikola Jokic: 7 games +152

Mason Plumlee: 7 games +48

Thomas Welsh: 3 games -1

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Avg. TPM™ Per Game

Jamal Murray: +13.71

Isaiah Thomas: N/A

Monte Morris: +13.43

Gary Harris: +17.00

Malik Beasley:+1.14

Torrey Craig: -1.83

DeVaughn Akoon-Purcell: 1.00

Will Barton: +16.50

Juancho Hernangomez: -0.33

Michael Porter Jr.: N/A

Jared Vanderbilt: N/A

Paul Millsap: +8.14

Trey Lyles:+7.71

Tyler Lydon: +1.00

Nikola Jokic: +21.71

Mason Plumlee: +6.86

Thomas Welsh: -0.33

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TPM™ Per-Minute Splits Through Game 5:

*Credit DomP on the Spreadsheet. It's as if my (nerdy) baby (TPM™) learned to speak

Analysis:

Qtr1- The Nuggets trot out their injury-replacement starting five, consisting of The Blue Arrow, Just Gary Harris, Torrey FUCKING Craig, The Anchorman & Big Honey. The Bulls counter with Payne, LaVine, Parker, Holiday and Carter Jr. Creepy Marlowe is coming for your candy kids. Pop some candy corn and settle in for a night of spooky good fun, sports fans. Denver wins the opening tip and they are fucked. Looks like LaVine will be the player to watch go off in this one, as he'll draw the Torrey Craig assignment, where he's able to conserve energy by playing zero defense. The score is 7-5 at 9:20. I haven't looked at the numbers but Chicago has the look of a horrendous rebounding team. Parker earns his 2nd foul at 8:46 and takes a seat.

It saddens me to see that the Bulls are sponsored by ZENNI, the chain I buy my inexpensive eye-wear from. A price increase is now imminent. The lead is five as they head into the first break at 6:24. Jokic is cold from the floor and once again looks sluggish. The preceding message was brought to you by the department of redundancy department. Maybe the three point play at 5:14 will get him going. Morris/Beasley are first off the pine for Denver at this point. Denver leads by three at 3:29. I feel like I may have a UTI coming on; the narrowing of the urethra. It burns! Lyles checks in after the commercial break, along with Plumlee and Trey immediately makes a two handed hurl. Apparently no Juancho until recycling time tonight. The preceding was rather presumptuous on my part and I can only hope that it doesn't serve as a hex. I'll say nothing further. The Nuggets are paced in TPM by Harris +8 as they lead 28-24 after one.

Qtr2- Plumlee makes a circus layup with one arm pinned behind him by the youngster with the long name. That is the BIG youngster for Chicago with the long name. Mason seems to be masquerading as pre-season Plumlee on this Halloween night. He's got three quick blocks and even a mid-range J! Malone is dissatisfied with the three point close-outs and calls a timeout at 9:24, with a six point lead. Denver is failing to move without the ball, the first cousin of insufficient ball movement. The starters for Denver begin filtering back in at 6:13, up six. Hutchison seems like the superior option at PF for Chicago. The starting five for Denver is in tact at 4:22, up six. Torrey Craig is not, I repeat IS NOT even an above average defender. A total head-turner defensively who gives the appearance of playing good D due to his close-out activity; not the same as effective closing out. I'm typing @ you, Coach Malone.

With that being said, Beasley is struggling mightily tonight on secondary rotations. He's still clearly the better option, though I advocate for a three guard lineup including Morris, with Harris defending the three. Jokic posts up for the first time at 2:40. He is once again on 3D pace with 5-4-5 despite playing poorly by his standard. Harris is FINALLY the first Nugget to reach double digits in scoring. Turnovers, horrendous ball movement and poor shooting offensively by the Nuggets to go along with poor defensive rotations/ball watching are keeping this one close. No players for either squad are in any sort of serious, individual foul trouble. Denver is paced in TPM by Plumlee +10, Morris +11 & Harris +14 as they lead 51-48 at the half.

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Qtr3- The Good guys begin the 2nd half with two stout defensive stands and a Millsap three, as they lead by six at 10:35, prior to yet another corner three by Chicago. It's even-Steven at 54 as Jokic bares the look of a man who indulged in one too many Sam's red-hots and still decided to hit up Jonny's Italian beef in the FLW district. He's ignorant of his man yet again defensively and Chicago has their first lead at 8:58. Jesus tap-dancing Christ Jokic, guard your man, just once in this half, Please! Well he's not doing that but he does get his hands in the passing lane two times in a row, resulting in points for Denver. The Nuggets lead by four on the strength of a 7-0 run. Millsap and Murray become the 2nd and third Nuggets to reach double digits. Morris checks in for Murray, up one at 5:45. Big Honey FINALLY hits a three and enters double figures at 5:25.

That Craig is taking his first FT of the season at this time tells you all you need to know about the offensive spacing issues he creates offensively for Denver. That said, this has been far and away his best game of the season, which also illustrates the aforementioned. It isn't lost on me that I'm entirely incapable of complimenting him in any sort of straight-forward manner. Denver is careless with the ball on three straight possessions leading to Chicago points and the Bulls once again lead by two. They now have a ridiculous 22 points off an unacceptable 13 turnovers by Denver. The bench unit, with the exception of Beasley, who no doubt thought he'd earned the starting nod and went out performing like one, for the Nuggets is once again outplaying the starters, as they take a four point lead with less than a minute to go and Holiday begins chucking in earnest. Denver is paced in TPM by Millsap +12, Lyles/Plumlee/Morris +13, as they lead a barn-burner, 80-78 after three.

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Qtr4- Beasley FINALLY contributes with a highlight-reel dunk followed by a steal. The officials are entirely too sensitive about their own mistakes in officiating tonight, handing out two questionable T's (not to be confused with two skinny J's.) I know it's a matter of sensitivity as they are very quick on the follow-up whistle, indicating knowledge of a mistake on their part. Plumdog makes five in double digits tonight for Denver. Beasley appears to have found himself defensively, just in the nick of time. Blakeney has taken every FG attempt thus-far in the fourth, including the tech for Chicago, as Denver leads by three at 8:51. Plumlee is called for a moving screen as Hutchison loses his balance, nullifying a three by Morris. Harris has gone cold from distance since the 1st QTR. Carter Jr. gets into the act, sticking a three on Plumlee and Chicago leads the game by four with six minutes to play. For fucks sake, I think Sam's Red Hots made a killing in feeding the Nuggets today. Marlowe continues his long-standing tradition of mistaking an 18 foot jumper for a three. The Bulls lead is up to six on a LaVine layup with a little over four to go and it's nervous time. Chicago is currently on an 11-2 run. Denver cuts it to two on a Harris dunk with under two to play. Jokic causes a turnover on the next possession and Beasley ties it up on the other end off a feed from a freshly-focused Jokic.

Harris is called in another extremely quick whistle for reaching in on LaVine but in this case, the anticipation whistle turned out to be correct by sheer, dumb-luck. Chicago will get the final shot after otherwise excellent D by the Nuggets goes unrewarded by the luck of the bounce. Correct call but bad luck nonetheless. The Nuggets look like an entirely different team over the course of the last two minutes of game-action and needed this intensity from out of the gate tonight. They have to accept that some teams will now get up to play them; it's just how things are now. The scorekeeper should have never reset the clock on that last possession and it should be Denver's ball. I spoke too soon as tremendous D by 'Sap yields a last shot scenario for Denver. Chicago has a foul to give. Marlowe calls for a Harris game winner and I hope he's correct. I ONCE AGAIN spoke too soon and a misconnection between Big Honey and Beasley results in a turnover, so Chicago should get the last shot of regulation with 3 seconds to go. Parker barely misses a 30 foot heave and they are going to overtime. At the end of four, Denver is paced in TPM by Jokic +12, Morris +13, Plumlee +15 & Millsap +16 as they head for bonus ball

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Overtime- The Nuggets should now be hyper-focused as to just how close they were to handing this one away to the Bulls and I expect them to dominate the extra session. Denver has learned their lesson and elects to lose the opening tip this time. Jokic starts off the scoring with a Dirk-like fade-away. LaVine answers but Jokic sticks a three and now is one board and one dime shy of a 3D. The impressive rookie Carter Jr acquires the lead for Chicago, at the line before Jokic AGAIN drills a three to give Denver the lead. He then deflects a pass resulting in a turnover. Holiday hits a three of his own and the Bulls lead again. Jokic throws the ball out of bounds and I'm long overdue for a piss break. Don't they know I may have a debilitating UTI? Denver's unquestioned leaders, Harris and Jokic have consecutive blocked shots and Denver has it with just under a minute to play, down by one. Big Honey needs just one assist for his 3D but that's not important now.

Beasley's shot is spiked and Chicago has the ball with under 30 seconds to play. Jokic gets the board after LaVine misses, no timeout is called and Murray is fouled, giving the Nuggets time to regroup. They THEN take a timeout with 3.5 seconds with which to hoist a shot. Let's not try an alley-oop to Beasley this time ok? Jokic gets a clean look, misses and The Anchorman is in the right spot at the right time for the put-back as Denver takes the lead with fractions of a second to play. One tenth of a second to be precise which means the only option is a tip in. It is legal to throw it directly into the hoop for a dunk without goal-tending. Marlowe is making this point simultaneously as I type it. Plumlee has none of that noise in batting down the inbound and this one is ova! Denver is paced in TPM by Morris +13, Plumlee +15, Millsap +16 & Jokic +18 as they win a scary game that should not at all have been frightening, by a score of 108-107. This could be the lowest scoring OT game played this entire season when we look back upon it.

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Final Thoughts: That was fun. Lets never do it again k? Big Honey's TPM score declines for the fifth straight game. I'm never boldly predicting recycling time in the first quarter again!

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The Nuggets Win!

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