Data only today due to a conflicting schedule and a stupid start time.
Apologies to the two of you who read this nonsense. 
Bumble Bros
Glad to see Gallo healthy again.
Keepin' the seat warm for Barton, Harris and Millsap.
For context with regard to the statistical aspects of this piece, please open this link: TPM™
A brief statement with regard to this piece on whole:
As a means to avoid repeating myself I will include this descriptive diatribe in all TPM posts going forward.
Sure I like statistics; ever since I was a child collecting sports cards and later a pre-teen who ran pre-internet fantasy sports leagues on ink/paper/spreadsheet for the four major US pro-leagues, I've been fascinated by box-score stats but I'm by no means an expert.
I created TPM (which has been around longer than RPM incidentally and unlike them, I fully disclose my non-proprietary system and I contextualize the action rather than being a boring, mysterious, predictive metric) because it does add immediate and accessible context to what we see and what the numbers indicate, which I like.
While the data is meticulously tracked and demonstrably sound, I'm a creative type, not an engineer. Algorithm is the bane of my existence in fact. I'd far rather approach life with the intrigue of expected surprise than attempt to get to the bottom of why things are the way they are. There are many engineers in my family so I totally understand that joy can be derived from finding solutions to problems, I just can't relate. It's not fun for me. THIS is for the most part, not fun for me.
Now I'm a 41 year old man who was born the year after the team I love joined the NBA. I happen to have a lifetime of experience with this sport in several different capacities, including playing (highly underrated within the writing community) so I understand basketball theory in a way most (by no means all) pundits do not.
I was in this case interested in a data-driven approach, which if I'm honest has sapped nearly all fun out of taking in games for me. I get very few days/nights off during the season. One piece requires several hours of research and data entry and all tracking/analysis is done in real time and published mere moments after each game's completion, 82 times (more this season) per year.
As such, the analysis portion is about 90% (I've run the numbers) creative writing with sarcasm generally indicated through italics, non-sequitur humor and hyperbole, in an attempt to steal back some of the joy this endeavor has snatched away.
Hopefully there is a little something here for everyone but if you came just for data or are averse to colorful language, this is not the place for you. I have no way of knowing how many people even read this so I'll not be affected even remotely if you choose not to indulge. For those of you who do, I greatly thank you for the support.
Nuggets vs Clippers II: Denver returns to LA to face a very good Clippers squad. Good thing most of the Nuggets are too young to drink.
I mean of course they will anyway. It's LA. It's X-mas weekend. Hopefully they decide to take care of business and keep that all-important momentum before becoming Noggets.
This is beginning to sound like a broken record but yet again, today's opponent will have revenge on their mind. If this can be the case every night then the Nuggets are doing something right. If Denver can remain focused on the task at hand, not feeling sorry for themselves due to their depleted roster or looking forward to enjoying the LA nightlife and the three days off that come with the Holiday; three days that they almost assuredly will not have off in seasons to come, then there is no reason to believe they can't at least make it competitive in this extremely rare day-game for the good guys.
When last these two teams squared off in game one of this season, the Nuggets (lap) enjoyed double figure TPM contributions from four players led by Nikola Jokic +17. Surprisingly, no players for Denver were in the red in that match-up as Denver held on to win 105-98 on opening night in Tinseltown. This was one of only two games that the Nuggets starting five was in tact this season. Denver's injuries are well documented (though Charles Barkley aside, entirely glossed over nationally) including a full report below in the update section of TPM so I'm breaking myself of the habit of mentioning them ad nauseum.
As for this game, first things first: I volunteer on Saturday afternoons so TPM will be out later than usual given this strange time of opening tip. Hopefully I can avoid spoilers while working in a particularly Nugget-rich section of Swansea-Montbello (Shout out to their native-son Paul Millsap) but either way, I'll begin tracking/analyzing via DVR shortly after I get home at 4PM MST. For more information on this Clippers squad, please feel free to check out my first piece on them from earlier this season, here.
Prediction: Denver 111- Clippers 115. Ultimately, LaLa Tinsilnog and the fifth place Clippers are too large an obstacle for the depleted Denver dudes.
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If you are viewing the pre-game version of the TPM piece; and you enjoy Gonzo-basketball reporting, I invite you to please join me after the game where the same link will lead you to the post game version. In it, all of the disjointed/unsightly blanks below will be filled, complete with data/analysis and more snark than "Snarknado VI: Snakenado", which I'm told is about a pessimistic, albino, black mamba who emerges from micro-bursts to torment the people of Los Angeles with shady tweets.
There be monsters; shameless, personal plug alert! (by permission of Denver Stiffs): If you are in the market for clothing, featuring the four major Denver sports franchises as well as CU, please open this link in a new tab to see if there is anything you are interested in. You don't have to order from the link of course if you are in the Denver Metro area, as I'm more than happy to meet up with you (please refrain from bringing rotten tomatoes), drastically lowering the cost, as Poshmark takes a healthy cut as well as shipping & handling. Thanks in advance!
Unique, hard to find, one of a kind and custom gear of your favorite team
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And now what none of you come here for; how about some basketball nerdery?!?!
(After these messages... Er Nicknames)
LA Clippers Roster
Coach: Glenn "Doc" Rivers
| NO | Name | POS | Age | HT | WT | College | Salary |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 21 |
Patrick "The Gatekeeper" Beverley |
PG | 30 | 6' 1" | 185 lbs | Arkansas | $5,027,028 |
| 11 | "Savory" Avery Bradley | SG | 27 | 6' 2" | 180 lbs | Texas | $12,000,000 |
| 31 | Angel "El Diablo" Delgado | C | 23 | 6' 10" | 245 lbs | Seton Hall | G-Money |
| 8 | Danilo "Gallo" Gallinari | SF | 30 | 6' 10" | 225 lbs | Viva Italia | $21,587,579 |
| 2 | "Gregarious, Yet Shy" Shai Gilgeous-Alexander | PG | 20 | 6' 6" | 181 lbs | Kentucky | $3,375,360 |
| 13 | Marcin "Marcin, Marcin" Gortat | C | 34 | 6' 11" | 240 lbs | Mars |
$13,565,218 |
| 5 | Montrezl "The Silent L-Sassin" Harrell | PF | 24 | 6' 8" | 240 lbs | Louisville | $6,000,000 |
| 34 | Tobias "Never-Nude" Harris | SF | 26 | 6' 9" | 235 lbs | Tennessee | $14,800,000 |
| 51 | Boban "Todd" Marjanovic | C | 30 | 7' 3" | 290 lbs | Lilliput |
$7,000,000 |
| 12 | Luc Mbah a Moute "She's Ma' Babay" | PF | 31 | 6' 8" | 230 lbs | UCLA | $4,320,500 |
| 15 | Johnathan "Ozo" Motley | PF | 23 | 6' 10" | 230 lbs | Baylor | G-Money |
| 10 |
"Mama Don't Take My Kodachrome" Jerome Robinson |
SG | 21 | 6' 5" | 190 lbs | Boston College | $3,046,200 |
| 30 | Mike "That's What She Said" Scott | PF | 30 | 6' 8" | 237 lbs | Virginia | $4,320,500 |
| 4 | Milos "The Foreman" Teodosic | PG | 31 | 6' 5" | 196 lbs | Cyrillja |
$6,300,000 |
| 0 |
"Bob Sagat Presents: The Aristocrat" Sindarius Thornwell |
SG | 23 | 6' 5" | 215 lbs | South Carolina | $1,378,242 |
| 9 | Tyrone "Marcellus" Wallace | SG | 24 | 6' 5" | 198 lbs | California | $1,349,383 |
| 23 | "Free Throwin" Lou Williams | SG | 31 | 6' 1" | 175 lbs | Parts Unknown |
$8,000,000 |
Denver Nuggets Roster
Coach: Coach: Michael "Post" Malone
| NO | Name | POS | Age | HT | WT | College | Salary |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5 | Will "The People's Champion" Barton | SG | 27 | 6' 6" | 190 lbs | Memphis | $11,830,358 |
| 25 | Malik "The Beas Knees" Beasley | SG | 22 | 6' 5" | 195 lbs | Florida State | $1,773,840 |
| 3 | Torrey "FUCKING" Craig | SF | 27 | 6' 7" | 215 lbs | USC Upstate | $2,000,000 |
| 2 | Brandon "Hopefully Contributes To Many The" Goodwin | PG | 23 | 6' 2" | 180 lbs | Florida Gulf Coast | $630,032 |
| 14 | "Just" Gary Harris | SG | 24 | 6' 4" | 210 lbs | Michigan State | $16,517,857 |
| 41 | Juancho "The Mouthful" Hernangomez | PF | 23 | 6' 9" | 230 lbs | Espana |
$2,166,360 |
| 15 | Nikola "Big Honey" Jokic (AKA The Joker) | C | 23 | 7' 0" | 250 lbs | Gotham |
$24,605,181 |
| 20 | Tyler "Not just Anunobody" Lydon | PF | 22 | 6' 10" | 225 lbs | Syracuse | $1,874,640 |
| 7 | Trey "The Swiss Army Spork" Lyles | PF | 23 | 6' 10" | 234 lbs | Kentucky | $3,364,249 |
| 4 | Paul "The Anchorman" Millsap | PF | 33 | 6' 8" | 246 lbs | Louisiana Tech | $29,230,769 |
| 11 | Monte "Ratio" Morris | PG | 23 | 6' 3" | 175 lbs | Iowa State | $1,349,383 |
| 27 | Jamal "The Blue Arrow" Murray | PG | 21 | 6' 4" | 207 lbs | Kentucky | $3,499,800 |
| 24 | Mason "Plumdog Millionaire" Plumlee | PF | 28 | 6' 11" | 235 lbs | Duke | $12,917,808 |
| 1 | Michael "The Sleeper Cell" Porter Jr. | PF | 20 | 6' 10" | 210 lbs | Missouri | $2,894,160 |
| 0 | Isaiah "Ice" Thomas | PG | 29 | 5' 9" | 185 lbs | Washington | $1,512,601 |
| 8 | Jarred "The Amalgamated Version Of A Dude I Once Bought Weed From On Haight Ashbury" Vanderbilt | PF | 19 | 6' 9" | 214 lbs | Kentucky | $838,464 |
| 45 | Thomas "Irvine" Welsh | C | 22 | 7' 0" | 255 lbs | UCLA | G-Money |
| 6 | Nick "The Answer (To A Question Never Posed) Young | SG | 33 | 6' 7" | 210 lbs | USC | $1,042,584 |
Update: MPJ and I.T. are sleeping on Ice, awaiting intel as to when their services will be required. Rookie Jared Vanderbilt will have to wait to make his rookie debut until long after R.O.Y. candidate Thomas Welsh, as he recovers from an actual injury. Harris is out indefinitely with numerous ailments of lower extremities but has started light practice work. Millsap is out for the next 1.5 months with a broken big toe in his right foot. but recently came out of the walking boot. Murray is "banged up" everywhere; specifically with a bone bruise of the right shin as well as a right forearm injury but he's tough as nails and gutting it out. Barton had successful surgery on his abductor/hip and is week to week (whatever that means.) Juancho is probable with yet another core injury, currently plaguing this team. As for LAC, ZILCH!
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Data:
TPM™ Game 31 LAC
Jamal Murray: +16
Isaiah Thomas: N/A
Monte Morris: +14
Brandon Goodwin: +5
Nick Young: -5
Gary Harris: Injured
Malik Beasley: -6
Torrey Craig: -9
Will Barton: Injured
Juancho Hernangomez: -7
Michael Porter Jr.: Injured
Jared Vanderbilt: Injured
Paul Millsap: Injured
Trey Lyles: +6
Tyler Lydon: -4
Nikola Jokic: +11
Mason Plumlee: +3
Thomas Welsh: +15
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Total TPM™
Jamal Murray: 31 games +521
Isaiah Thomas: 0 games +0
Monte Morris: 31 games +380
Brandon Goodwin: 2 games +5
Nick Young: 3 games -2
Gary Harris: 21 games +315
Malik Beasley: 31 games +145
Torrey Craig: 26 games -4
DeVaughn Akoon-Purcell: 6 games +5
Will Barton: 2 games +33
Juancho Hernangomez: 30 games +40
Michael Porter Jr.: 0 games +0
Jared Vanderbilt: 0 games +0
Paul Millsap: 26 games +238
Trey Lyles: 31 games +183
Tyler Lydon: 10 games +5
Nikola Jokic: 31 games +610
Mason Plumlee: 30 games +225
Thomas Welsh: 7 games +17
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Avg. TPM™ Per Game
Jamal Murray: +16.81
Isaiah Thomas: N/A
Monte Morris: +12.26
Brandon Goodwin: N/A
Nick Young: -0.67
Gary Harris: +15.00
Malik Beasley: +4.68
Torrey Craig: -0.15
DeVaughn Akoon-Purcell: +0.83
Will Barton: +16.50
Juancho Hernangomez: +1.33
Michael Porter Jr.: N/A
Jared Vanderbilt: N/A
Paul Millsap: +9.52
Trey Lyles: 5.90
Tyler Lydon: +0.50
Nikola Jokic: +19.68
Mason Plumlee: +7.50
Thomas Welsh: +2.43
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TPM™ Per-Minute Splits Through Game 30:
*Credit DomP on the Spreadsheet. It's as if my (nerdy) baby (TPM™) learned to speak
Qtr1- The Nuggets trot out their 7th iteration of the injury-replacement starting five, consisting of Murray, Craig, Juancho, Plumlee & Jokic. The counter with
Denver is paced in TPM by as they after one.
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Qtr2- I just have a feeling I'm going to be saying something about Gallo here.
Denver is paced in TPM by as they at the half.
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Qtr3- Fuck you Rodney Mott! Ok, so that's a holdover from last game but it still rings true to this day (as Henry Phillips might say.)
Denver is paced in TPM by as they after three.
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Qtr4- The
Denver is paced in TPM by as they
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Final Thoughts: Bullet point edition:
Apparently they needed me. I'll make a deal with you Nuggets. Don't schedule any 3pm starts and I'll never miss a tip.
Denver made an enormous mistake by not flying in this morning and avoiding the LA nightlife, with three days off afterward and an hour gained in travel, it was a no brainer. Instead, this team had the look of a severely hungover squad.
Groups with depth like this one (arguably their bench is better than the Clippers starting unit) are those which will expose the Nuggets injury woes. Fortunately, they are few and far between in the NBA.
The refs have a great deal of difficulty officiating Jokic because he's fouled on nearly every play but the problem is he's playing to draw fouls not to score, which for some reason is only rewarded if your name is Harden. He's GOT to start shooting with a purpose and stop with the incessant whining. Refs are the most human element in the NBA often times. More than in any other sport they officiate based on emotion/reputation/momentum, not reality.
This is an excellent defensive squad for LA. I don't care what the points allowed or the advanced metrics indicate, when it comes playoff time, NO ONE is going to want to face them. They are a better defensive team than the higher ranked Nuggets, to be certain and I don't even think it's close.
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We Suck Again!
