Why bother. They'll probably just lose anyway.
Pre-Game Thoughts: For those of you visiting TPM from Charlotte, RMW (Rocky Mountain Way) is one of my favorite posters at Denver stiffs, but he tends to be slightly on the pessimistic side, earning him comparisons to Eeyore, so with Denver all but eliminating themselves from contention with a loss to Portland on Tuesday, I thought I'd pay homage to him, in an entire piece written as I imagine he might. Please enjoy! Or don't, I'm sure you'll hate it.
Denver Roster:
Will "The People's Champion" Barton,
Juancho "No Room For A Nickname" Hernangomez,
Mike "The Human White Flag" Miller
Michael "Mr Imagination" Malone
Charlotte Roster:
Ramon "Played By Melissa McCarthy" Sessions
Nicolas "Oh Goodie..Denver!" Batum
Marco "Piccolo Gallo" Belinelli
Treveon "You'll Never Catch Me In Florida With The Gun Nuts" Graham
Jeremy "I Don't Think You're Ready For Mint Jelly" Lamb
Christian "Every Sperm Is Sacred" Wood
Frank "The Tank" (why mess with a good nickname?) Kaminsky
Miles "Remember When I Was The Good Plumlee?" Plumlee
Cody "I Can't Remember... Am I The Good Zeller?" Zeller
Update:Ya, he's the good Zeller... It's kinda relative, however.
Qtr1- Jokic loses the tip. The Nuggets may as well call it a night. Walker drills a 3 on the loose coverage of Jameer; here we go again. Jokic and Faried are making their shots, but it's only good fortune. Charlotte is drilling 3's of course. Gallo passes Chauncey for 3rd on the "all time three pointers made" list for the Nuggets, most of them absolute luck. He follows it up with another lucky heave from downtown. He's playing very well for the first time since his injury, now that they are out of the playoffs. Plumlae are scoring against one another now. 2nd unit running much better. It must just be because the Hornets bench is slow. No one is in foul trouble for either squad. Denver has the lead after 1, but it won't last; 32-24
Qtr2- Mason nabs his 2nd foul. Lots of centers that would make Doug Moe proud amongst these two rosters. Nothing but tall, white Stiffs. Ally is wearing jeans tonight. Must have lost her luggage. Get these wiener kids off of my screen. What do they know? Mason now with his 3rd at the 7:30 mark and he takes a seat. The Tank, with his 2nd at the 6:45 mark. Miraculously, Jameer is +8 TPM thus far. The tank now has 3 fouls and stiffs are departing left and right. Jameer, Murray, Gallo, Faried and Jokic are out there, and the rookie is the only one who is not a laughable defensive player. As a result, Charlotte goes on an 8-1 run, to close it to 1. It's particularly ineffective since this offensive Nuggets lineup missed 5 shots in a row, with two TO's interspersed, in 7 possessions.
Jameer with his 2nd foul, and we are tied at 47 with 3 to play. Jameer isn't even attempting to position himself against any particular opponent defensively. I'll give him this much; that at least keeps him out of the TPM conversation. Jokic & Harris each get their 2nd foul, and Denver is starting to accumulate foul trouble. Harris is the first player for either team in double figures, with 1:30 to play. Walker joins him with a traditional 3 point play, as does Jokic with a buzzer beating 3. I expect it to balloon to an insurmountable Hornets lead in the 3rd, but as the 1st half closes, we're knotted up at 56.
Qtr3- The weather here in Denver is 36 degrees, rainy and grey, and all is right with the world. Now back to the ball game, where the league's two worst teams in terms of tanking are pitted against each other, in a battle of attrition. Both teams miss their first 2 shots. My kinda night! Nelson is the 3rd Nugget in double figures with a prayer of a 3 (No sarcasm/itallic font necessary... for the previous). Gallo is the 4th Nugget in double figures at the 8 minute mark. Jameer is, as per always, wearing a hole in my pad of paper. I believe Ally is trying to tell me that I am the missing puzzle piece to her heart. Faried is the 5th Nugget in double figures at the 6 minute mark. He has a 2d at the 4:45 mark (luck.) "Tippy tappy tippy tappy... Tippy tappy is what it is. "- Marlowe.
Jameer appears to be injured at the 3:30 mark. Faried and Jokic are taking over here on unadulterated fate smiling upon them in the 3rd, as Denver extends the lead to 10 with 2:30 to play. Jokic with a 2d, and is only one assist shy of a 3d. Plumkic now in with 1 to play. This is where the Charlotte run begins. The Tank nabs his 4th. Jameer has a confirmed right calf strain and is out for the night. Jokic and Harris play the entire 3rd. Walker is the high scorer with 22. Jokic has 19-11-9 on 8-12 shooting, 2-3 from the line and 1-2 from deep, is a +21 TPM, and Denver leads temporarily after three, 94-86.
Qtr 4- The crowd is getting energetic as a means to fire up the Hornets in their inevitable comeback, and I'll tell you what; it's working. They come out in the 4th and are getting to every rebound with Faried and Jokic out. Batum, The Tank And MKG are all in double figures now for Charlotte, along with Walker, after 2 minutes of play. Denver looks defeated as the lead is predictably history at the 9 minute mark, after a 14-0 Hornet run! Charlotte is up 4. Lamb is now the 5th Hornet in double figures. Jokic gets his 6th 3d of the year after a Gallo 3 nets an assist.
Harris cuts it to 1 on a drive at the 6 minute mark. Belineli is the 6th Hornet in double figures. Harris is the 2nd Nugget with at least 20, at the 4:30 mark, due to shoddy defense by the Hornets. The Tank drills a 3, stretching the lead to 5 at the 3:45 mark. Walker is doing his best Jameeroball impression on offense, which for now, is keeping Denver in the game, but since he is NOT Jameer, he will assuredly, eventually finish the Nuggets. Hornets are up 5 with 2 to play. Harris gets his 4th foul, followed by Jokic's 4th, and this one, as I already knew, is not going to end well for Denver. Jokic gets 26-13-10 on 11-16, 2-3 & 2-4 shooting, is a +25 TPM, but it is all in vain, as Denver deftly snatches defeat from the jaws of victory, once again. Ally just announced that Nurkic broke his leg and is done for the year, so I literally have nothing to root for in the post season now. A perfect cap to a perfect night! The Hornets win 123-116.
Final Thoughts- END THE JANIGHTMERE! Free Mudiay! We Suck Again! As it turns out, I didn't have to alter my style all that much. I guess I'm pretty pessimistic myself.
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